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  • Doriene van Luttervelt

Confessions of the heart...

Updated: Jan 22, 2018

"I am still somewhat uneasy when it comes to truly #feeling…. Which doesn’t mean that I am unfeeling or that hard words will not hurt me. I’m learning to re-open my heart, letting in my #vulnerability and authentic strengths. To show the world who I really am. My exterior might seem strong and solid, on the inside there is lots of fear and vulnerability. Fear to be completely #happy, as myself, being given permission by myself to be truly happy. Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I see a woman that I don't know. She looks at me in an intrusive way. But I do not know who she is. And then, there is a small sense of recognition… “O, there you are!”

I am more often sad and insecure than happy and powerful. Learning each and every single day to also love my shadow side. On the few moments that I feel my true strength again, I can conquer the world! And feel real joy and unconditional love. Even when my feeling seems unjustified, I still see the good in everyone. I am someone who would be most happy to live in togetherness. Connected with every living creature.

My pain is genuine, even though I tend to keep it hidden most of the time. Especially since so little people really understand my pain.



Even though, I am still scared to be turned down and ignored, I let my heart speak more often, and tell what it needs to say. Even though hurting the other person is sometimes the result.

I am awfully proud for my perseverance and all that life has taught me until now. It is time to take the next step, on my journey to an authentic way of living. My way, the way it was meant to be. For me…


This is my adventure, my story. And I would like to share it with you.."

Love,

Doriene


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